What Girls Say VS What They Really Mean

When I was in Primary school, my Italian teacher Signora Addamo used to say ‘Italian is the most beneficial language a person can study’. When I was in high school and began taking French, my teacher Madame Walshe would say the same.

I realise now that they were both totally and utterly wrong.

Navigating the complicated everyday language of "girl code" easily comes out on top. Since Google refuses to translate everything that we girls have to say, I think it’s my duty to help you out. Forget your French dictionaries, here are 20 things girls say VS what they really mean: 

1.    Aren’t you going to be cold wearing that? - You look like a hooker. Please put some clothes on.

2.    Yeah, you’re probably right - You’re wrong. I just don’t wanna seem like a dick about it. 

3. Can I just say one thing? - I highly disagree with you, and am about 2 seconds away from destroying your highly flawed argument.

4.  I am applying for this job to gain experience in the workforce - I need expendable income to fund my $55 lip liner addiction from Sephora; in order to keep up the rich person makeup lifestyle I’ve created for myself.

5.  I’m a great team player, I’m cooperative and love working with others - I literally hate everyone. 

6.  She’s one of those people who doesn’t really have a filter, like she just says whatever’s on her mind - She’s a total biatch. 

7. No offence, but… - What I’m about to say is highly offensive, so I’m covering my back so that you’re not allowed to get mad.

8.  I promise I won’t tell anyone – If I keep this juicy goss all to myself I will explode. I will tell only a few people, and when I do I’ll begin with ‘Promise you won’t tell anyone…’

9. Dinner’s Ready! – Dinner is still in the oven.

10. Just a second!! – I need another 3 minutes at least. Please stop pressuring me.

11. I hate it when people talk about me behind my back. Like, I never talk shit about anyone behind their back – The highlight of my LIFE is talking about other people when they’re not around.

12. Ughh I can’t wait to get off work – I’m just fantasising about what I’m gunna eat when I walk through the door.

13. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me – I care an astronomical amount about how people think of me. I’m just trying to seem cool by saying that I don’t.

14. I have nothing to wear – While I physically own clothing, all of my good clothes are dirty. Aaaand after scrolling through Insta and seeing some to die for outfits, I’m not feeling my wardrobe today

15.  Im fine - Here is an idea of where ‘fine’ lies on the spectrum of human emotion:

-       I’m buzzing

-       Yeah! I’m having  pretty great day

-       Everything’s kinda  same old same old

-       Ehhhh Not the best 

-       I am sooo not fine

-       I have never felt worse in my entire life!

-       I am going to burn down an entire village with the fire in my eyes while backstroke swimming through a pool of my own tears

-       I’m fine. 

16. What? Today’s my cheat day? – And yesterday. And the day before that if you count fast food. Okay every day is cheat day. 

17.  It takes me like 10 minutes to get ready in the morning – It takes me 45 on a good day

18.  I just want a guy who’s smart and funny – I just want a guy with supermodel good looks, tons of money, at least average intelligence, who also happens to be funny.

19. I have a philosophy major – I have no idea what the hell I'm doing with my life, and my $55,000  college degree is more useless than the drum set that Anne Frank got for Christmas

 20. I’m not thaaaat hungry – If you offer me something delicious, I will definitely eat it. If not, I can conveniently reiterate that I’m just not that hungry (without offending your mediocre selection of food). 

Whether you are a girl, or you know a girl (or simply know OF the female species since you attend an all-boys school),  I hope this list has proven just as reliable as Google translate. Which come to think, is really not that reliable at all. Okay... leaving now. 

Xx