The first time I took a shot from a loaded gun (as if! This isn't Kentucky), I was eighteen-years-old. I strutted towards the bar with the confidence of Cindy Crawford, and a "make me a tequila on the rocks. Not too many rocks - I like it strong Derek!" attitude.
In
my head.
In
real life, I shoved through a horde of slobbering drunk guys with chin pubes
and loadies mid-deal towards the bar.
"I'll
haaaaave... a glass of alcohol please".
Before
I could ask for a Kinder Surprise, my friend (wait, you have friends?) intervened.
"She'll
have a tequila shot thanks".
I
tilted back my head and... held the shot in my mouth like I was gargling
Listerine. In mere seconds the insides of my mouth started burning raw (again,
like Listerine), while I mentally penned my will.
*Yeah,
I can kiss that mouthwash endorsement bye bye*
At
this point, a crowd of friends had gathered around me shouting me "Shot!
Shot! Shot!", so I tried to discreetly spit the tequila out from the side
of my mouth. Instead it just went all over me, and I spend the rest of the
night soaked from my own spat out vodka (yum!)
So
I guess its kinda obvious that I'm not much of a drinker. Which is really hard
for everyone else to understand. I'll be at a college party and mention
"I'm not drinking tonight", only to be bombarded with a million
questions like:
"Are
you on antibiotics"
No
"Are
you pregnant"
NO!
"Are
you drunk?"
Yah,
okay. I am.
I'm
drunk right now actually.
Kidding. The closest I get to taking a shot is when I have the flu.
Mum: Sorry we only children's cough syrup. 10mL should do it
*pours into shot glass*
Me; Make it 20, I need the hard stuff.
Xx
