I swear I tripped out of the womb. Perhaps that's not possible, but if it is then I definitely did. So when people say I'm clumsy, it's probably the world’s most colossal understatement! Due to my continuous falling over, spilling things, making a total embarrassment of myself, and being the least elegant person alive, I thought I'd share with you all my 'Top five most common falls and embarrassing moments: and how to get out of them without making a total fool of yourself';
1. The 'I just fell over that minuscule crack in the pavement'. Ok so this one is really embarrassing, especially when that crack doesn't actually exist. Usually this type of fall results in a stumble and possibly landing on your hands and knees, but can be covered up if you take an extra big step forward with the opposite foot so it looks like your lunging. Seriously, people do yoga and tai-chi everywhere and anywhere these days, so doing a few lunges on the foot path can certainly be passed off as normal!
2. The 'Tripped over the table leg at a restaurant or bar and may have just flashed your undies'. While you can't exactly erase what the rest of the restaurant may or may not have seen, you can make it appear like you’re doing a little Feng-Shui. Rearrange the chairs you just tripped over, then step back and give your new furniture arrangement a look of approval. Sure maybe you'll still look a little strange, but vensua is totally hipster and that's better than looking like a total clutz.
3. The 'My ankle just gave way for no apparent reason and it looks like I've been pushed over by Luke Skywalker using the force'. So in this case you better damn hope you're standing near a wall or a person (preferably someone you know). If you're near a wall when you fall into it, simply lean up against it for a few minutes and check your phone. Don't worry it'll look o'natural. If you're next to one of your friends or family members, go in for a hug, use them for balance and smile! You'll seem super friendly (or perhaps a little too friendly… Yeah definitely do NOT use this one on strangers).
4. The 'Dancing is all fun and games until someone stands on the back of your Forever New maxi dress and you go hurtling over towards the DJ'. Ok so whoever stepped on the back of your dress seriously needs to watch out! Like have they never heard of taking a step back? Honestly- step away from the dress. It's hard enough to walk in heels, let alone when you've got what may as well be a floor length gown. Anyway back to the trip… so after you've stumbled forward a few steps (or if worse comes to worse fallen flat on your face) either start shuffling backwards and pull out your best dance moves, or start break dancing on the floor. Who knows, maybe your new moves will start a trend.
5. The 'Tripped over on stage in front of your entire school/ family/ friends'. Take it from Jennifer Lawrence's fall at the Oscars: laugh it off! Honestly there's no hiding this fall. Rather than covering it up, it's best to just embrace it. People will forget it, or you'll eventually just look back on it and laugh. Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself.
So I hoped I could help you (or at the very least entertain you) with my misfortunes, and maybe some of you can relate. Surely I'm not the only one tripping over imaginary cracks in the pavement… right?
3. The 'My ankle just gave way for no apparent reason and it looks like I've been pushed over by Luke Skywalker using the force'. So in this case you better damn hope you're standing near a wall or a person (preferably someone you know). If you're near a wall when you fall into it, simply lean up against it for a few minutes and check your phone. Don't worry it'll look o'natural. If you're next to one of your friends or family members, go in for a hug, use them for balance and smile! You'll seem super friendly (or perhaps a little too friendly… Yeah definitely do NOT use this one on strangers).
4. The 'Dancing is all fun and games until someone stands on the back of your Forever New maxi dress and you go hurtling over towards the DJ'. Ok so whoever stepped on the back of your dress seriously needs to watch out! Like have they never heard of taking a step back? Honestly- step away from the dress. It's hard enough to walk in heels, let alone when you've got what may as well be a floor length gown. Anyway back to the trip… so after you've stumbled forward a few steps (or if worse comes to worse fallen flat on your face) either start shuffling backwards and pull out your best dance moves, or start break dancing on the floor. Who knows, maybe your new moves will start a trend.
5. The 'Tripped over on stage in front of your entire school/ family/ friends'. Take it from Jennifer Lawrence's fall at the Oscars: laugh it off! Honestly there's no hiding this fall. Rather than covering it up, it's best to just embrace it. People will forget it, or you'll eventually just look back on it and laugh. Sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself.
So I hoped I could help you (or at the very least entertain you) with my misfortunes, and maybe some of you can relate. Surely I'm not the only one tripping over imaginary cracks in the pavement… right?
No comments:
Post a Comment