I’m still not exactly sure what’s supposed to
happen if you choose ‘trick’…..
It’s
not sweat pants it’s trakkie daks
It’s
not a diaper it’s a nappy
It’s
not a mall it’s a shopping centre
It’s
not a cell phone it’s a mobile phone
It’s
not soda it’s soft drink
It’s
not cookie it’s biscuit
It’s
not math it’s maths
It’s
not drug store it’s chemist
It’s
not vacation it’s holiday
It’s
not zee it’s zed
It’s
not 911 it’s 000
It’s
not candy it’s lollies
And
it’s not Halloween, it’s October 31st.
Australians
don’t do Halloween. I have never been
trick or treating (without being held against my will, that is). Try telling
that to my mum however, who forces me every year into costume, so I can drag an
eight-year-old around the neighbourhood. Here are a few of the responses I get…
House #1
Us:
Trick or Treat?!
Doorman:
This isn’t America!!!
*slams
door*
House #2
Us:
Trick or Treat?!
Doorwoman:
Aren’t you a little old to be in costume?
*turns
to Jasper and hands him enough candy to diagnose 15 children with ADHD*
House #3
Us:
Trick or Treat?!
Doorwoman:
Everyone quick!! Turn off the lights and pretend we’re not home!! Shhhhhh
House #4
Us:
Trick or Treat?!
Door
old grandma: Awww isn’t this sweet. Here, have some candy
*hands
us rock candy (don’t think it was like that when she bought it during the Second
World War)*
**starts
talking about her cats**
Most
years I go around the neighbourhood in a Darth Vader costume, and now I finally
get why he wore this thing. Nothing conceals your identity (or sheer embarrassment)
more than an obtrusive black mask. Maybe Darth Vader had really bad acne or
something…
Well
this year is going to be different! Claire and I are going to a Halloween
Party. It’s like Regina George said ‘halloween is the one night of the year
when a girl can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything
about it’. Unless you go as a slutty Mother Theresa.
So forget the store-bought costumes (oh, the horror!) and check out these cult faves!
Now
excuse me while I carve a pumpkin, stir a cauldron and buy some descent candy
for the kids who knock on our door. I mean lollies.
So forget the store-bought costumes (oh, the horror!) and check out these cult faves!
 |
| Cher - Clueless |
 |
| Wednesday Addams - The Addams Family |
 |
| Daria and Jane - Daria |
 |
| Elle Woods - Legally Blonde |
 |
| Juno |
 |
| Sanderson Sisters - Hocus Pocus |
Xx
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