Nobody Eats Apples in the Big Apple

Eating at Yankee Stadium while sticking to a budget of, oh, I dunno, like under 50 DOLLARS!

We can't all swipe our troubles and truffles away with Daddy's American Express Black card you know.

While the city clears out when Upper East Side prep schools break for the summer, and the fabulously rich canoodle off to St Barths and St Tropez, summertime means one thing to the New Yorkers left behind: Baseball season. And whether you’re rooting for the Yankees or the Mets, soaking up the sun in the bleachers while downing an overpriced hot dog is what summer in the city is all about!

You know you're a 90s kid when 'The Sandlot' made you think Babe Ruth was
the best baseball-er of the 20th century. (He retired in 1935, just before Black
African American's were allowed into the league). 

Yankee Stadium (located on the corner of 161^st and River Avenue in the Bronx) is one of NYC’s most famous baseball pitches (2^nd only to the Sandlot … duh!)  Up until the 80s, it stuck with traditional ballpark snacks like hot dogs, pretzels and cracker jacks. Nowadays however, you can dine in an upscale restaurant, or if you’re under 12, enjoy a classic sushi like the California roll. (Over 12s can order off the same menu, only with the added judge-y eyes of sushi snob).

With this in mind, I present to you my favourite sweet treat to survive summer at the stadium!

Warning: the concession stand queues at the 7^th inning stretch can be intimidating … even if you’ve survived the Boxing Day lines at Barney’s!

hot, Hot, HOT DOGS!

One New York tale that riles even the most die-hard hot dog historians is the origin story of the name “hot dog”. At the New York Giants baseball match in 1901, vendors everywhere were shouting “Get your dachshund sausages while they’re red hot!” Overhearing this, sports cartoonist for the New York Journal, Tad Dorgan (god, kids can be cruel) quickly sketched a barking dachshund nestled between two buns. Unable to spell “dachshund”, he simply wrote “hot dog”. 

For that classic baseball fare, look no further than Highlanders. This eatery (which was names after the Yankees original Moniker during their first season) offers all the original ball park foods we know and love. Sound appealing? Join the back of the queue like everyone else. (Just practicing my stereo-typically blunt New Yorker attitude). 

Hasn’t anyone told you? Nobody east apples in the Big Apple!

Xx

All Access Guide to Coachella

Whether you're a free spirit born-and-raised with a flower crown sprouting from your temple, or a suburban teen inspired by Tumblr, music festivals bring out the inner Coachella in all of us. Their dreamy boho vibes are reminiscent of the good old 70's, when things were actually way worse. 

Yet there's something about their alternative vibes that make me realise if anyone would blend in at a music festival without even trying, it's my mother. She can be alternative at times to say the least. 
'Mum I'm home!'
*Bursts through the front door to find her pacing around the living room in a puff of incense, wearing harem pants and playing the Tibetan singing bowl*
'Hi honey! I'm just cleansing the house of negative spiritual energy. Have you had an afternoon snack yet?'

My mum's 'music-festival-without-even-trying' attitude didn't stop her however from telling my little sister that she's not allowed to upcoming festival  'Groovin' the Moo' (HAHAHA). Meanwhile I get to since I’m over 18 (true) and can do whatever I want (*snorts* not true… at ALL). So then my sister had this dramatic moment where she expressed that she was glad that at least one us would make it, and to “just go on without me”. Which I intend on doing. 

I should probably preface this by saying that 'Groovin’ the Moo' is kind of like the Australian version of Coachella (only without Kylie Jenner and the entourage of filthy rich 15-year-old Youtubers). 

Whatever music festival you are attending this season (or not attending, like my sister), you're undoubtedly in need of the perfect outfit that falls somewhere between boho and breezy, put-together yet relaxed. The following outfits of inspiration are dreamy enough to carry you from day to night, or from a music festival to a road trip! 

I really hate to use fashion curse words without sensoring, but your outfit also needs to be PRACTICAL *shudders* 
Since you're going to be part of a giant mosh pit and on you'll be on your feet all day, you're going to need semi-comfortable shoes. 
YUCK! 
This goes against my religion (I mean, Christian Loubiton said himself that he would HATE if someone were to look at his shoes and say “Oh my God! They look sooooo comfortable”). 
In this outfit I'm wearing a floral jumpsuit, with a black denim skirt and statement studded belt thrown over it. I won't narrate the entire outfit I swear! I know you have eyes. 

Coachella isn’t all friends, fashion and Florence and the Machine – its serious business. For starters, the most important thing when dressing for a music festival is avoid looking so mainstream that you become a main river. 

So for those of you not in the know, the unspoken clichés of music festivals that you must avoid are as follows:

Coachella Tip #1: Is there anything more tired and overdone than a flower crown?  The only time these are currently acceptable is if a) you’re a flower girl at a wedding, b) You’ve been in a coma for the past five years and you’re catching up on trends you missed or c) You’re Timothy Green, and have an unexplained medical condition that causes you to sprout flowers sporadically from your head. Everyone else I'm sorry (not really) but you have no legitimate excuse to be wearing a flower crown. 
Spotted: Gigi Hadid wearing the one thing better than a flower crown (um... a not flower crown?) A head wrap! I love everything about this look! To avoid looking like you read tarot cards and see thing in crystal balls (other than your reflection), I recommend using a large, square scarf. Also avoid purple. I'd go for something with warmer tones; golds, browns and oranges like Miss Hadid. 

      
Coachella Tip #2:  Culturally appropriated accessories: I don’t care if you’re Vanessa Hudgens, (a.k.a Queen of Coachella), cultural insensitivity will never look cute. As much as I wish to praise your originality in wearing denim undies with a bindi stuck to your forehead, we've all seen the sour side of offending another’s culture. And at the end of the day, why risk offending someone when you can look super cute and original while not offending them? 
      Spotted: Gigi (again!) Is this girl is going to de-throne Vanessa Hudgens or what? I love her facial jewelry! Its totally different from the more cliche Coachella bindi. (You can buy them from 'Body Bauble' here).

            Tip #3: While there’s nothing overly cringe about denim shorts, if you MUST, why not stand out of the crowd of thousands of festival go-ers. I love this pair from ‘Nasty Gal’ because they scream American cowgirl.  

Tip #4: Hair to be different: Unlike being in class and not knowing the answer when the teacher is choosing someone to speak, music festivals are NOT the time to blend in with the crowd. As much as I love it, pastel hair is soooo last festival. This season its all about the two B's; braids and buns. Check out some of my favourites below

A few days and hundreds of tissues later:

And like some sick joke (literally) – I couldn’t go to Groovin’ the Moo because I got sick! You know when you’re listening to your iPod (or your MP3 player if you’re reading this in 2002, while wearing a flower crown non-ironically) and it goes a little something like:

Not this song 

*shuffle*

*shuffle*

*shuffle*

*shuffle*

*shuffle*

*shuffle*

FINALLY! Well ‘Groovin’ the Moo’ is nothing like that because I was in love with the line-up, like it basically floated down from the playlist of my dreams. . It keeps me awake at night thinking about all of the music I'd be obsessed with, if only I knew where to find it.... that place was Bendigo, where the festival was just held.

WAHHHHHH

I hope you kids had fun, stepped away from the crochet and gave birth to some new trends. 

Until next year.

Xx

Women Who Read Are Dangerous

I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realised that what I love even more is having friends

View on Instagram here

When I was a kid, my dad would be nestled in his favourite armchair, the Sunday newspaper sprawled open in his hands. He gets so damn unresponsive when he’s reading, until he no longer hears ANYTHING that's going on in the outside world.

8 year old me: Dad! can I flick the channel I wanna watch Hannah Montana

*no response*

9 year old me: Daaaaad! I fell off my skateboard and I’m bleeding all over the carpet

*no response*

It got to the point where I truly believed that I was a ghost, and my dad couldn’t hear me BECAUSE I WAS DEAD.

10 year old me: Daaaaaaaaad! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry – I accidentally rammed my bike into your new sports car and the side mirror broke off

*puts down newspaper*
"WHHAAAATTT?!?!"

You know, I kinda wish he hadn’t heard that time. 

Just like my Dad, when I’m reading I become so engrossed in a book, that everything else simply fades into the background. Even though I haven't been lately, I love reading. It’s no wonder I always get Alex Dunphy in every ‘Which Modern Family character are you?’’ quiz. 

One of my favourite novels I’ve ready recently-ish is “Where Rainbows End” by Cecelia Ahern. It’s also called “Love, Rosie” since that’s the film name and they renamed the book and blah blah blah. It’s written entirely through correspondence; letters, emails, msn chats (ah, those were the days) between two protagonists; Alex and Rosie. Usually I HATE those kinds of books, but this one is seriously funny, making it into my Top 3 favourites of all time! If you borrow this from a library, I really hope you get a cute librarian to check you out... I meant the book (okay, dorky much). 

When people like Hailey tell me they love the smell of old books, I just want to pull them aside and be like, I'm sorry but... you know how books work right? 

Xx