O.K. so it’s been a YEAR since I last wrote on this blog. And it will probably be another year 'til I write again. Truthfully, I’m only writing ~THIS~ article because I was so embarrassed by the stuff I wrote in the past, that I wanted to push it further down the page. Far, far away from the eyes of all the cute guys who aren't reading this blog.
Let's relive the most fashionable looks from the hit 1998 flick "The Parent Trap", shall we? A movie I have seen MAYBE ten thousand times. As a kid, it was a film I watched so much I fucked up the disc. I’m not going to pretend however, that I took any notice of the fashion way back then. I was like eight, and I didn’t care about clothes (unlike what snooty-front-rower people at VOGUE will tell you).
“Oh I knew I wanted to work in fashion from the MOMENT I was BORN!”
“What a laugh! I knew I wanted to work in fashion while my father’s sperm was swimming to meet the egg. I remember that moment fondly”.
No, I was much more preoccupied with the techniques used by Hallie and Annie Parker to reunite their parents. My sisters and I are also “The Parker sisters”... the Parker’s who failed to get their parents back together. As a consolation prize, at least we have these fun, carefree and statement looks to take us from our mum’s place to our dad’s.
Look #1 - What the “California Cool Girl” looked like before brandy Melville even EXISTED!
Look #2 - Exactly what Rimmel means when they tell us to “Get the London Look”
Then you have Hallie’s twin, Annie James. (WHY am I recounting the film when EVERYONE has seen it)? Which is why I don’t need to point out that the picture is in fact Hallie ~pretending~ to be Annie. Her all-tweed ensemble is probably the most memorable outfit from the film. I really like the matching headband too, which was probably picked up from some fancy London boutique by her mother Elizabeth. For my lifestyle set outside the neighbourhoods of inner-city London however, it's not quite as wearable. So until further notice, I'm sticking with looks worn by Hallie the Cali-CoolGirl™.
Look #3 - Camp Walden for Girls serving! the! looks!
I’m all about that Camp-Girl aesthetic. I’ve been told I would make a great camp councilor, and I can’t tell if by that they mean I would gain sick pleasure in telling children to "shut up and GO TO SLEEP". Honestly, true. Ahhhhh soft worn cotton, gold pendant necklaces, those TORTOISESHELL SUNNIES... AGAIN! I’m definitely getting a pair, writing this has convinced me that they're missing from my life. Or maybe I need therapy to dig deeper into what's ~really~ missing. Moving on!
Look #4 - Elizabeth James is classier than you’ll ever be! It's not an accusation, it’s reality.
Elizabeth James is exactly who I picture every time I consider cutting my hair short. I want her classy, elegant, short-but-still-long-at-the-same-time cut, but it will probably never come to fruition. Her cream ensemble is a reminder that you are not wearing all cream enough, and Hallie’s three piece powder blue suit! I wish my mum had forced me to wear that as a kid. Even if I had no place to go in it.
Look #5 - The ensemble every woman needs when she marries a man 20 years her senior, and becomes the evil stepmother his children will hate.
Meredith Blake makes my past step-mothers look like Step-Mother Theresa's and that's saying something! FYI: watching the film as a kid, I hated her. Now I think she's an icon. Also, If you haven’t sat at a bar in a powder grey suit with red lips and matching nails drinking a martini, you ~NEED~ to sort out your priorities!
Look #6 - Hallie and Annie do a TERRIBLE job at hiding their identities. HelLOoO? I’m not their parents and even I can tell which is which.
Hallie and Annie weren’t telling their parents which twin was which, but those wireframe ray-ban-vibe sunnies on tortoiseshell croakies? ExcUSE me while I lose my shit and steal these from my grandma. Or buy them here. Clearly a Hallie look. And that sweet reappearing headband and peter-pan collar is oh so Annie. I guess the pretence of the movie relies on their parents not taking much notice in the first place though.
Look #7 - The look served by girls who hate hiking, before, during and after said hike.
I like these East Coast vibe hiking outfits for the sole reason that tying flannel around your waist makes you instantly feel like a bonafide hiking pro. Maybe it’s the realisation that any time you feel cold, you can swiftly jump in to action and put that flannie to good use.
Look #8 Attempting to splash Meredith is the only motivation I would need to jump in the pool
Give a girl a pair of these tortoiseshell lenses and an oversized tee and she can take on the world. You know how earlier I said that thing about not taking any notice of the fashion in the film? Well that was a complete and utter LIE because I do remember the XXL tee over the bathing suit look. Eight-year-old me thought that was REAL cool. Then again, I also thought wearing pink converse with my future wedding dress would be cool. The only difference is that I still feel the same about this look. And that's one CuteBlueSuit! Although I can't help but wonder if the contrasting red hair is what ultimately makes it.
Look #9 I’ve always kind of been in love with Nick Parker. I can’t tell if I want Meredith to be out of the picture so he can be with Hallie&Annie's mom or with me…
Hallie’s from California. Get it? C-A-L-I-F-O-R-N-I-A. The costume designer really had to chuck her in braids and a plaid shirt to drive the point home. Also, never underestimate the power of a button-down plaid shirt. A red one from Abercrombie & Fitch I bought when I was thirteen forever changed my life. It’s a long story.
Look #10 Remember duffel bag girl? She didn’t have many lines but she was a total badass
I didn’t know this look was missing from my life until right now. Please join me at the next photo.
Look #11 - Meredith’s hiking look is the motivation you need to exercise
As a past member of the Columbia University Hiking Club, I feel ashamed to inform you that I never attempted this look.
Look #12 - A royal flash
Set to the musical ramblings of “Bbbbbbbb Bad to the Bone” this look SCREAMED badass so much that in 2013, Lindsay’s mugshot shows her wearing the EXACT. SAME. JACKET. No lie.
Did you notice the styling genius attributed to costume designer Penny Rose going on in this movie? Are you now suddenly craving oreo’s and peanut butter? See ya next year when I post again!
